nothing special has been happening in my life. i have no life at all, actually. i can't say i'm really bored, but sometimes i feel lonely knowing that i'm alone. work has been the reason why i'm still surviving and damn to say that i have no social life. maybe that explains why i don't have someone special as well.

i can't really say why i ended up in this misery. all i know is that i was enjoying every moment that i had, yet i guess they weren't smart moves. career-wise, it may be. but life with career alone isn't everything. there are still a lot of things that should complete me, and one of those of course is having a lifelong partner to share happiness. it's been years since i had a serious relationship. i wasn't bothered until this weekend when we watched a tagalog movie. gosh, how i miss having someone to talk to and rely on when i feel so down!

aw! before weekend i finally ended the "relationship" with s-mate. it was one heck of an experience. something i could never forget but never will do again. he has caused me a lot of heartaches and it's time for me to move on. though i'm not really done yet cause there is still something that i need to settle with him, i feel relieved to have realized that i need to persevere in ending it. no, i have realized it a long time ago. i wasn't just ready to let go of him i guess. call me mercenary but there is really something in him that i can't let go aside from attachment; though i know he is just using me for something as well. morally speaking, i shouldn't have engaged myself into that in the first place. well, it's too late to blame myself... and i enjoyed it eventhough there were more painful moments. and it's good to know that i have taken one big step to discontinue what we have or had.

i am not expecting something spectacular to happen in the next months of my dispirited life. where do i start? a question that i need to answer yet with my current wretched emotions, i am not mentally able to do so. geez, i feel annoyed to have this stage. and i wish this is just a chapter of my life and will not be forever!!!