once again, i had a "kilig" moment then now i'm depressed. for weeks that i've been waiting for this and the happiness that i experienced was less than a minute. partly i am at fault for not doing something, hence i guess it's a wake-up call for me to stop the fantasy.
life goes on. i need to get back to the life that i had and will probably have in a long period of time. it may sound pathetic but that's reality. the fulfillment and happiness that i longed for is quite impossible at this moment of my life, though i still cling on to hope. i had to... it's the only thing that i have for now.

sometimes i wish i have dealt my life differently. i have always been positive on everything yet it was never enough. i should've done something else. i don't want to regret what i have done. i have been happy with what i have although not fulfilled. like everybody else, i long for something more that would make me complete. i'm human, i bet it's natural. it's only the agony thinking of what could REALLY make me satisfied that distresses me. at my age i am still at lost.


i love my life. but i want to love it more. i want to be complete. and i want to know what would make me complete.